A Return

Last night I had a dream about a friend.  A friend I used to talk to often.  Someone I haven’t seen in awhile.  Someone I probably will never be as close to again as I once was.  That may or may not be a good thing.  Either way – it is a friend I miss.  I woke up feeling sad and reflective.

I have been thinking about old friends lately – about who I have been because of different friends.  In addition to missing some friends who are no longer an active part of my life – I miss parts of who I was when I was around them.  Can I say that and not sound entirely selfish?  I know that friendship should be about giving – but the truth is that the friends I like the most are the ones who help me like myself the most.  That’s part of friendship too right?

The friends I have been missing lately just so happen to be the friends who bring out the parts of me I have been missing.  Missing myself has been a weird thing.  It has also been good – the reminder I am ultimately responsible for my own happiness.

I don’t usually set New Year’s resolutions.  However, this year I have decided to stop missing myself. One of the things I have missed the last couple of years is recording things that make me happy.  (Have I told you in college that we had a quote board – where we wrote down anything people said that made us laugh?  And almost nightly we would sit around and re-read the quote board?  It is one of my best memories of my years in Logan.)  So, with all this in mind I have decided to start blogging again.  I can’t promise regular updates.  I don’t even know if people read blogs anymore.  I don’t even know if I’ll get good material from the students I have this year (unless you want stories of me cussing six year olds.)  But I’m back – for me.  You can read if you’d like.